Autism Acceptance Means Connecting and Appreciating Gifts and Talents
April is Autism Acceptance Month. The National Center for START Services® invited writer and autism advocate Kevin Fox to share his thoughts.
By Kevin Fox
Last year, I wrote an article for Autism Acceptance Month about my own autism acceptance journey. I still think the difference between autism awareness and autism acceptance is very important. Acceptance of another person is about taking time to truly connect on a deep level with them, realizing that they may have gifts you can never even dream of even if they do have some obvious differences. Throughout the last year, I have built a community stronger than what I could have ever imagined when I was struggling to make connections at college 15 years ago. However, I think the single aspect of the last year that has changed my view of autism acceptance the most is interacting with my college friend Amanda’s 7-year-old autistic son, Thomas.
Amanda and her husband Robert adopted Thomas in 2023. Amanda and I have been friends for almost 20 years now, and it is great to see her enter this phase of her life journey. But interacting with Thomas has truly been getting to see a 7-year-old version of myself again at age 36. It is disarming at times. Like 7-year-old me, Thomas can read above his grade level but may have a meltdown if you try to put uncomfortable clothing on him. Like 7-year-old me, Thomas is gifted with many varieties of technology. Like 7-year-old me, Thomas is obsessive about his interests and will get upset if you try to separate him from his interests or make him focus on something else.
While Amanda, Thomas, and their family live hundreds of miles from me and I only get to visit them in person a couple times a year, I interact with Thomas several times a week on FaceTime. He calls me and we talk about how his day is going, the features on the latest iPhone (one of his interests), and what new online games he has downloaded recently. Those 10-minute conversations are some of the most rewarding parts of my week. I have gotten to develop a close bond with a 7-year-old that I can learn a lot from who is very eager to talk to me.
I also still talk to Amanda regularly, and she tells me how Thomas’ school life is going. While Thomas does very well in some facets of academics, he greatly struggles socially due to his lack of boundaries with others. Sometimes, like 7-year-old me, Thomas causes other students in his class to get upset but does not understand what he has done wrong. Sometimes, Thomas gets left out of social events at school. Amanda’s heart breaks for him every time but talking to me and gaining my perspective on what is happening is frequently enriching for her.
Often, my life as a 36-year-old is so busy and full it is easy to forget what it was like at age 7, but Thomas reminds me every time I talk to him. Thomas also reminds me of the importance of acceptance. Thomas will eventually need to learn as he matures to curtail some of his behaviors, but his neurodivergent brain will persist throughout his entire life. Thomas will always need people to accept him, to take time to listen to him and not automatically shut him out just because he is different. While 7-year-old me had a lot of things to learn, I would not have my current life if people all along the way had not been willing to accept my neurodivergence into their lives. It is important to accept autistic people, because by doing so you give them a chance to use their gifts and talents.
About Kevin
Kevin Fox is a writer, online content editor, and autism advocate. He lives in Chattanooga, TN, and enjoys playing piano, going to concerts, and attending regular local autism conferences and support group meetings. Read more on Kevin's blog.
