Myth Busting: Relationships for People with IDD-MH

By Jill Hinton, PhD

At a National Center for START Services® staff meeting, we discussed some common myths we encounter in the field of intellectual/developmental disabilities and mental health (IDD-MH). We made a list and we'll be busting each myth one at a time in 2025!

In the field of IDD and MH, myths can lead to or perpetuate discrimination, exclusion, and stigmatization. When we bust the myths, we remove false ideas, fears, and misunderstandings; we provide a new understanding of people with IDD-MH, we increase the capacity of communities; and we create opportunities for people with IDD-MH to thrive and live their best lives.

This month, as we celebrate Valentine’s Day, we are busting the myth that people with IDD do not have sexual feelings and do not want to be in intimate relationships. People with IDD are sexual human beings who deserve to be in meaningful, healthy relationships if they choose. Yet, they are often left out of opportunities to learn about healthy sexuality and intimate relationships.  When education is provided, it is often from a risk-based perspective and in reaction to a difficult or uncomfortable socio-sexual experience. The positive aspects of relationships are often left out of the discussion. 

In order to not only bust this myth but also promote meaningful relationships, proactive, preventive education and support should be a part of the whole person approach that we endorse. Education should include both the mechanics of sex and the mechanics of relationships. Our goal should be to provide developmentally appropriate education and opportunities, and support people to grow into adults who experience healthy, consensual sexuality. Here are a few strategies:

• Support/encourage parents and caregivers to provide age-appropriate sex education from childhood through adulthood
• Support/encourage parents and caregivers to have conversations about healthy relationships early and often
• Strengthen social and relationship skills
• Expand social networks and increase opportunities for interacting with friends
• Support and educate caregivers on how to balance their role in promoting safety and providing autonomy. 
• Utilize and share available tools and resources

 
Resources:

Elevatus – addressing sexuality with people with developmental disabilities

Circles Program – includes a module called “Date Smart”

Friendship and Dating Program – 10-week curriculum for groups of 6 – 10